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February 23, 2005
You know you're getting older when...
You know you're getting older when a close childhood friend of yours has to go to the doctor for a prostate exam...
... and that friend is Optimus Prime.
And oh my god, the CLANK you heard when Ratchet forcefully crammed his metal hand up... okay, I'm stopping here.
if you didn't also see this momentous event, then you need to watch Robot Chicken next time it plays on adult swim this thursday. If you don't know what adult swim is, it's a block of programming aimed at a more adult audience with humor that's often too adult for kids. Some of it's great, some of it's lame. Some of it's utter genius. Robot Chicken had me laughing out more air than I was taking in. I seriously began to feel light-headed.
Other bits in the show included Captain Kirk walking on the bridge of the original Enterprise from thier turbolift (elevator thing), except that the elevator doors shut on him, catching exactly what every man dreads catching in an elevator door. It was like a scene from Something About Mary. I'm talking beans and franks, people. And as the doors proceeded to open and close on the cringing and crumpling Kirk, Spock staggared in front of the camera, laughing his vulcan ass off, slapping his knees and holding onto the walls for support.
Anyhow, I'm getting better. Yay. I'm generally fine now but I'm coughing constantly. Very annoying.
More later. And I promise it's not just gushing about TV shows where the toys of my childhood go to the doctor and get the rubber glove treatment. I promise.
Posted by Eric Chapman at 02:05 AM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2005
Hey, wait a minute
I think I'm on to something here...
Maybe They should move World AIDS Day to February 14th! That way we can celebrate the syndrome and the act of transmitting it to a loved one all at the same time!
What? No, I'm not bitter, what makes you say that?
Posted by Eric Chapman at 01:59 AM | Comments (1)
Oh, that just figures...
How could I have not seen this coming?
It's F__ING VALENTINE'S DAY!
Figures. I'm not in a position to get my heart broken this year, so I get sick instead.
See? This is my life. On valentine's day, I get a virus.
... which could probably be said of a whole lot of people, but at least mine isn't as bad.
Psst. Meester Valentine? Here, I have a present for you! HHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaawk! Ptoo.
Happy noxious-phlegm day!
Posted by Eric Chapman at 01:49 AM | Comments (0)
The Bloomington Plague
I've got it.
Okay, so it's the flu, but dammit I'm miserable and you're going to hear about it!
... normally I dodge the flu. I mean, viruses just aren't my thing, y'know? I'm more of a bacteria mensch. Bronchitis? Love it. Sinus infections? They're like a yearly celebration of winter! But the flu? Ugh.
I'm holding out hope, though. One of my symptoms is a sore throat, and that could mean that it's not the flu but really my on-again-off-again lover, strep throat.
... So I called in sick to work on Friday. I felt like (what's a four letter word for) poo. Turns out that it was sort of a false alarm. I felt better that night. I'd been feeling worse and worse every day when I got up that week and, well, I guess the flu hysteria going through Illinois right now kinda got to me. So I thought I had the flu, called work, spoke to them in a manner that sounded not unlike Darth Vader (totally genuine, I assure you, because I was kind of surprised by how bad I sounded) and that was that. By Saturday, I felt fine.
Sunday I'm wandering around the apartment, grumbling about how it's raining and I can't go shopping because my wipers don't work right, and suddenly I realize I'm freezing. Must've forgot to turn my heater up, right? Left it at unoccupied temperatures, right? Nope, it was where it should be. So I took my temperature. 99.5 Mind you, I usually run a little low, in the 97.5 range. And my throat hurts. And I'm coughing.
Bad sign, coughing. I don't cough much. Unless something went down the wrong way or a doctor has a firm grip on my gonads, I generally don't cough. I'll sneeze you out of the building, yes, but no coughing. If I'm coughing, Something Is Wrong.
Anyhow, no motivation to do anything, steadily feeling worse and worse.. temperature has climbed to 100.5 and rising. And I'm sitting here wondering whether I'm going to go to work tomorrow. If it weren't for the fact that I need to have an illustration done this week, I wouldn't even question it: I'd be staying home.
But I'm the only one in the building that does what I do. And I take pride in what I do, and in my professionalism in doing it. It must get done. It will get done.
And as I typed that last line, I had to fight off a rolling wave of fever-haze.
Maybe tomorrow the guy pushing the wagon for plague victim collection will come by and I can jump on it.
....... argh.
Posted by Eric Chapman at 12:52 AM | Comments (0)